The awful feelings of pointlessness return this morning for some reason, urggh,  probably the result of the head injury. I have no control over them, don't want them, quite aware that i should change, but how? Tried anything i can think of but nothing works. I worry incase these feelings tip me over an edge i won't come back from. This is why i must escape from my fathers influence, he seems to exude negative vibes, no joy, laughter or even anger, just exists within his shell of a human being.