I have reached a point in life, when I need to now accept that I am in control of that life, not my father anymore. Years, many years of emotional abuse and some physical, have left me in a space where I have not felt any control over who i am and the abilities I have. It is time now, for me to take over that control, not feel any sort of connection or tie with my father anymore. He is a bully, living in a dark, sad place, alone and he will die in that place, soon hopefully. No it was wrong to say that, I am not going to become bitter and twisted, but happy and spiritual.